


Challenges By Choice

by Shinocchi



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-17 08:55:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2303951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinocchi/pseuds/Shinocchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their relationship started with a challenge, progressed with more challenges, and they knew that there would definitely be more to come. Along the way they were faced with choices and eventually, there would be a time when they needed to make important decisions.</p><p>Aoba was strong, he definitely was. But he had two weaknesses, Noiz and... It was a challenge - a decision to be made between two most important existences in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Challenges By Choice

**Author's Note:**

> I don't intend to write sad OTP but this was something I couldn't get out of my head. I love to see Noiz & Aoba being happy and contented with life but I figure growth is an important -heck, perhaps the most important- thing in their relationship and with that, they'd need some challenges.
> 
> Self-beta'd and I apologize for any errors and mistakes.

" _Don't come after me._ "

Exactly twenty five days ago, Noiz had woken up to an empty bed. Over the night, he was left alone in this house, now a bit too big for him, and he had no clue at all about what was happening. At first, he tried comforting himself. Probably Aoba had gone out for an early grocery shopping; probably he was caught up with something he saw on the street. But a few hours passed and there was still no sign of his boyfriend. Worried, Noiz picked up his Coil from the bedside table, about to finally give his boyfriend a call when he noticed a small note on the table. Why didn't he notice it sooner?

 

* * *

 

Life in Germany was a challenge but blissful nonetheless. 

Aoba had been adapting very well ever since he'd settled down in the new place. He'd picked up the new language in a moderate pace, but what astounded Noiz the most was the way Aoba took various initiatives to understand more about the new environment - he wasn't afraid to approach people, even though he might sound a bit awkward; he tried his best to accustom his taste buds to the new tastes of local food, even though he might make faces when he accidentally tasted something weird. When Noiz had proposed the idea of bringing him over to Germany, he was worried that this might not be what Aoba wanted. But now, it was a whole new story altogether.

Aoba seemed to be enjoying his life here, but what enticed him most was to be able to see Noiz grow with him by his side. Not only that, as they entered their third month of stay in Germany, Aoba also started gaining an upper hand on a lot of things. For instance, he'd discovered 'secrets' that even Noiz as a local never knew. Sensing a chance, Aoba would always tease Noiz about it, and Noiz, being naturally competitive, would often summon a comeback to counterattack Aoba's smugness.

In due course, everything became a challenge, just like the nature of their relationship.

"I bet you have never tried beer before." Aoba crept behind Noiz and gave him a surprise hug attack one night after Noiz was done with shower as he gave him a playful look, a look that Noiz often defined it as an invitation of yet another challenge.

"That's true," Noiz admitted, turning around and hands reflexively grabbing onto Aoba's waist as he gave him a smirk - something that Aoba deciphered as an acceptance of his challenge. "But I bet you have never tried  _Brezel_ before."

"Bre- what?" Aoba stared confusedly at Noiz, tongue tied at the new word.

" _Brezel_ ," Noiz repeated. "It's a snack people here often eat with a beer. I came upon it when I was buying bread in a bakery down the street."

He saw Aoba mouthing the word, trying to pronounce it and, his endurance limit hitting its end, he scooped Aoba up and placed both of them on the bed.

"Want to try it one day?" he asked, climbing on top of his boyfriend and pressing his body down on him.

"And beer too?" Aoba responded with a hint of anticipation in his voice, encircling his arms around Noiz's neck and feeling the tips of their nose touching each other.

"Sure," Noiz's voice dropped to a feverish whisper as he inched closer towards Aoba. "You too."

Aoba didn't even need to think too hard to understand the last two ambiguous words of Noiz, because then, he immediately found his answer when his young boyfriend's action became pronounced enough as they pressed their lips together, preparing to enter another night of fervor.

 

***

 

Noiz loved to think that Aoba was too lovely for him to handle, but little did he know that Aoba shared the same line of thought as him, probably in a totally different level.

It was true that Noiz's physique sometimes misled Aoba to think that his young boyfriend was probably not as  _young_ as he thought he was. But then Noiz started to conduct certain actions that loudly shouted 'brat' at Aoba and often, he'd find his heart taking over his brain as a pang of warmth attacked his insides. Sometimes he would laugh at Noiz, intentionally adding in a few mocks just to witness the way a pout would appear on Noiz's already flustered face. Noiz could have changed his outlook, but Aoba knew that inside, he was still an inexperienced, nineteen-year-old brat that not even his now more matured appearance could deceive him.

"Noiz, I think we have everything we need. Let's-"

Suddenly realizing the disappearance of the person who was just standing beside him a few moments ago, Aoba looked around and took two seconds to locate his boyfriend, who was standing in front of a street stall. Sighing, he smiled endearingly at him before he made his way towards him.

"Give me three of those."

"Two," Aoba interrupted.

As Noiz gave him a disapproving look, Aoba shook his head. "There's only the two of us."

Sometimes, if he wasn't careful, he'd find Noiz wandering away from him, reminding him awfully of the time when they were in Platinum Jail, when he knew nothing about Noiz. But no matter how much time had passed, and with the experiences and impressions he'd accumulated with Noiz, Aoba was sure that there was this one trait of Noiz that would never change. Like a curious kid, Noiz was naturally attracted to things that he weren't familiar with. These 'things' acted like a magnet exclusively for Noiz, distracting him from everything else, sometimes even Aoba. He was just like a kid, who had never known about the world and who yearned to learn more about the world.

"You don't even know if it tastes nice or not," Aoba continued lecturing as he took their orders from the stall owner. "What if you don't like them?"

"But they look nice," Noiz retorted, refusing to look at Aoba and taking the brown package from his boyfriend's hand.

This was a kid speaking; it was a kid's language.

 

***

 

Sometimes he wondered exactly how long Noiz had been in love with him. He never thought about it until Noiz confessed in the hospital. Noiz had probably loved him for a long time. The brat was probably confused with his own feelings, not able to understand how it exactly felt to be in love, or to be loved. He didn't want to imagine how lonely Noiz felt when he was alone in the hospital as he spent his entire day waiting for his only visitor which was Aoba. He didn't want to imagine how happy Noiz felt when he saw Aoba walking through the door, wearing that gleeful smile of his that never failed to brighten his mood up.

He didn't want to imagine how this young nineteen-year-old brat was all over him, who fell in love with him, and cherished nothing but him from then on.

Because every time he started imagining it, he would find himself hugging the said brat, feeling his warmth against his skin, and the smirk accompanied by the teases  _that said brat_ would throw at him made Aoba's inside feel incredibly mushy. 

Then what about him?

When did he start falling for Noiz?

Probably he'd fallen for the brat since a long time ago - probably the same time when Noiz had fallen for him; or probably even earlier.

There wasn't a definite answer for his questions but it didn't matter. In fact, none of those mattered anymore. Because they were madly in love with each other now, and that they had each other by their side. 

Noiz had come after him. And he had been holding onto Noiz, to make sure that he chased after him when he got lost. 

That should be more than enough for them.

 

* * *

 

Going after each other seemed to be a definition of their relationship, even in a literal sense. 

So when Aoba left a note telling Noiz  _not_ to go after him, Noiz felt it deeper than anything else.

He knew it meant as how it was written, and that he shouldn't think too much about it. But no matter how he interpreted it, it sounded too much like something else - something that sounded awfully like...

_I don't want to involve you in this part of my life._

He thought they had an agreement to  _involve_ each other in their life, no matter what it was to be. 

It wasn't like he didn't notice the unsettling aura between them, though. Aoba hadn't been himself lately and he, being overloaded with work, hadn't gotten the chance to properly look into the matter. He remembered getting into a small fight with Aoba the previous night, when Aoba had said that ' _he wanted to be of help even at times like these_ ', that ' _he wanted to be useful_ '. But when he asked him what he meant by ' _times like these_ ', Aoba kept quiet, refusing to answer, creating a wall between them and immediately sending them into a round of silent treatment.

He didn't want to acknowledge the fact that everything might be too late, that Aoba was now... far away from him.

 

`Does Aoba hate me?`

`→ Yes  
` `→ No`

 

`Is Aoba mean?`

`→ Yes  
` `→ No`

 

`Should I go after him?`

`→ Yes  
` `→ No`

 

`Should I give up now?`

`→ Yes  
` `→ No`

 

He knew exactly where Aoba went, but he wasn't sure if he should go after him, especially when Aoba had explicitly told him  _not_ to. He was sure that Aoba would be extremely furious with him if he was to ignore what he said. But he also knew that if he was to allow it to be... he wasn't sure if he was ready for the consequences.

Almost one month. Twenty five days. It should be enough. If they ever needed some alone time to calm down, twenty five days should be enough.

Grasping the crumpled paper his hand, he stuffed it into his pocket, picked up his Coil and booked a flight.

 

* * *

 

The last time he was here, it was three months ago, when he'd accompanied Aoba back to Midorijima for his hometown visit. It was a rare occasion when he'd managed to secure a day off from work, not to mention that Aoba had hinted about how much Tae wanted to see him acted as a final call to reorganize his priorities.

When he stepped onto the streets, alone, it reminded him of the time when he'd first set foot here, when he was still young and reckless and unknown to the world. Alone. It wasn't something he wanted to remember, and the fact that he was stepping back onto this land  _by himself_ when he had Aoba by his side now embittered him even more.

Intuitively, he strolled through the streets, breathing in the familiar air and feeling a sense of nostalgia when he caught sight of a few street stalls that he used to visit. As he stopped in front of the Seragaki household, the sentimentality within him became even more pronounced.

He hesitated before he stepped up to the front door, pondering if he should give Aoba a call first before he caught him off guard. He had surprised Aoba for countless times but he wasn't sure if he would be as receptive as he always would now that they were dealing with something possibly serious. The longer he stood there, the more contradicting he felt. Finally, after what felt like a decade, he clicked his tongue, strode hurriedly towards the door and knocked a few times.

Silence.

He knocked again, this time, more aggressively.

Silence again.

Usually at times like these he'd find a furious old lady storming out of the house and shouting in his face but all these were nowhere to be seen; in fact, the surrounding was so quiet it was starting to feel abnormal. Probably no on was at home. Noiz wasn't sure, but he needed an answer.

And there was only one way to find out.

Laughing at how ironic the situation was, he tampered with the doorknob, almost unlocking it when he heard footsteps behind him, accompanied with a loud voice.

"Sneaking in as usual, I see. I thought you've changed, but I guess a brat will always be a brat."

He remembered the voice. There was no way he could forget it, not when that same voice had been vibrating so annoyingly loud in his ears just almost a year ago.

Turning around, he glanced at the familiar red, who stood staring at him. There was something in his eyes that made the red on him match him even better but soon, his expression softened as he walked towards Noiz, stopping only when they were only a foot apart from each other.

"What brings you here?" Koujaku asked, his voice now softer than the one he used just a minute ago.

Noiz didn't know the answer; or rather, he didn't know how he should attend to the question. He didn't want to tell Koujaku that he had gotten into a fight with Aoba and that he had appeared on the said man's doorway even when Aoba had told him not to come. He didn't want to earn unnecessary punches from a man who knew cared for Aoba as much as he did. But, silently laughing at his internal conflicts, apparently, this man was the only person he could reach out now. Despite being calm and rational at most times, he soon realized that this wasn't the time for it.

"I'm here for Aoba."

His straightforward answer drew a surprised look out of Koujaku as the older man stared, seemingly running the situation through his head.

"So that's what it is," he said after a short while. "Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

If Noiz was to say yes, he might need to brace himself for a long interrogation process, which he didn't have time for; but if he was to say no, then it made no sense for him to  _not_ know what Aoba had been up to. Koujaku seemed to be reading the difficulties on his face because he gave out a few coughs soon after the pause stretched between them, effectively distracting Noiz from his uncontrolled thoughts.

"So he didn't tell you anything," Koujaku continued, and Noiz was even surprised to notice how mournful the older man sounded now.

"Didn't tell me what?"

A new sense of emotion now invaded his nerves, almost clouding his sound judgment. Aoba had never hidden anything from him, at least not intentionally. Aoba knew that trust was one of the most important essences of their relationship. Aoba was the one who had wanted him to be completely transparent with him.

And he was sure that  _he_ had requested Aoba to do the same for him as well.

Probably he needed more answers than he thought.

"Where's Aoba?" he asked, impatience evident in his voice, every second now felt a bit too long for his liking. He didn't want to draw out any conclusion but when he was placed in a situation like this where he knew  _nothing at all_ , he couldn't help but ponder.

 

`Is Aoba hiding something from me?`

`→ Yes  
` `→ No`

 

`Does Aoba not trust me anymore?`

`→ Yes  
` `→ No`

 

`Do I trust Aoba?`

`→ Yes  
` `→ No`

 

`Is this the end?`

`→ Yes  
` `→ No`

 

Koujaku merely stared at him. Noiz knew he was trying to figure the right way to answer his question but he couldn't care less now. He only wanted an explanation. He didn't care how he would get it, or how much it'd... hurt.

"Hospital," Koujaku said at long last. "You'll know when you get there."

His heart started picking up speed when he heard the word. He almost forgot how to breathe.

_Hospital. Why?_

 

***

 

He couldn't stop the 'what ifs' in his head.

 

`Is Aoba involved in an accident?`

`→ Yes  
` `→ No`

 

`Is Aoba sick?`

`→ Yes  
` `→ No`

 

`Is Aoba dying?`

`→ Yes  
` `→ No`

 

`Is Aoba leaving me?`

`→ Yes  
` `→ No`

 

He wished he had a car. No matter how fast he ran, it didn't feel fast enough. Ignoring the angry grunts of people he'd pushed aside, he tore through the crowd, his heart beating furiously beneath his chest, a result of both the lack of air and fear.

Midorijima Hospital was where everything changed. He hated the idea of it being yet another place where everything would change again. He would trade everything and anything to make sure that Aoba was still alive and breathing. The thought of losing Aoba had never once occurred to him; but now, when the idea was so avidly stuck in his head, he found a sense of new found emotion within him that he didn't like at all.

He quickly took the stairs and reached the floor where Koujaku had directed him to, his footsteps echoing loudly in the corridor.

And then, he gave out a huge sigh of relief when he noticed the familiar sense of blue sitting on a bench, his head lowered with Ren on his lap.

Noiz was almost smiling. Aoba was fine, he was still alive. But with each step he took to approach him, he realized that he was, in fact, not  _exactly_ fine.

Aoba only looked up at him when Noiz stood right in front of him, blocking out the sunlight pouring in from the window. At first, he stared wide-eyed, visibly shocked, at Noiz. Then, he quickly averted his gaze, looking away and scowling at a corner.

"What are you doing here? We're still fighting," Aoba said coldly. Noiz could hear a hint of hoarseness in his voice, and if he wasn't observant enough he would've missed the marks of dried tears on his face.

"You call that fighting?" he responded, his voice so small as if he was afraid that any volume louder than this would trigger something dangerous out of Aoba.

He wanted to bring Aoba into his arms - he figured he would need it,  _both_ of them would need it. But instead, he stood rooted on the spot, suddenly unsure if he should make the decision.

The silence spread between them. He knew Aoba wasn't exactly angry at him, but he was obviously hiding something, something that Noiz couldn't figure out yet.

Finally, no longer able to sustain the frustration in him, he clenched his fist, lurched forward, and pulled Aoba into a tight embrace.

"O-oi-"

"Shh."

One simple hush was all Noiz needed to dissolve Aoba's retorts into thin air. He could feel his boyfriend's heart pumping fiercely against his chest; he could feel Aoba shivering slightly in his arms. And slowly, he could feel Aoba's hands reaching out towards him, returning his hug and sobbing into his shoulder.

He didn't know what happened. All he knew was Aoba needed support, and for some reason, he wasn't asking Noiz for that.

That fact anguished Noiz greatly.

 

***

 

It took a while - few hours, actually - for Aoba to finally calm down as he leaned against Noiz's arm with their fingers intertwined together. He never knew how much he needed his boyfriend's support until he was right here, right now, by his side. The warmth he felt in his hand, along with the quiet breathing from his boyfriend calmed him down his ways he didn't know was possible. Tightening his grip, he closed his eyes, feeling the exhaustion creeping up on him.

He hadn't been sleeping well for the past month. He hadn't had the courage to pick up his Coil to call his boyfriend. He'd tried very hard to stay composed, even in front of his closest friends. He missed Noiz, he missed his young boyfriend so awfully much. But he didn't know how to deal with it. He didn't want Noiz to see how he'd break down if anything was to happen. Noiz already had so much in his hands. He had been so busy with work, so busy building a better life for them. He should be supporting Noiz, not giving him more troubles. He knew Noiz wouldn't mind. He really thought he could share it with Noiz but the problem consumed him in a way far worse than he'd expected.

He didn't know what to do; or rather, what was the  _right_ thing to do.

That was why he asked Noiz not to come after him. Until he had his own emotions under control.

"Koujaku called last month," Aoba started, unhurriedly and inaudibly. "Granny fell and she was sent into the hospital."

Noiz allowed him to take his time. As much as he wanted to know exactly what had happened, he wanted Aoba to be completely comfortable with it. His boyfriend didn't need more pressure than what he already had.

"She was fine at first. Koujaku told me not to worry and that he would take care of her. Mizuki and Clear were also around so it should be fine. But," Aoba took his hand off Noiz's and buried his face in his hands. "Her situation worsened few weeks ago and she was admitted into the emergency ward. Koujaku kept telling me that she's fine but I know she's not so I..."

Aoba trailed off, noticeably unable to continue what he intended to say. Without a word, Noiz wrapped his arm around his shoulder, pulling him close and placing his head against the crook of his neck. Aoba was always strong, he knew that perfectly well. He could stand up for himself without hesitation, even if that meant he needed to rebel against the authority, or gained a few punches, or broke a few bones, or even risked losing his life. He knew he was strong that way.

But Aoba had two weaknesses - Noiz and... Tae.

"It's fine," Noiz whispered, gently patting Aoba's head. Aoba wasn't crying and for all Noiz knew he might be suppressing it again. It was okay. Aoba could do whatever he wanted and Noiz would still be here to look after him, just like how Aoba had kept him company regardless of how immature or how sophisticated he tended to be.

He hadn't thought about what he'd do if he was to lose anyone. There wasn't anyone important in his life anyway, not until he met Aoba. He couldn't understand how it'd feel to be in Aoba's position. But, reminded of what was in his mind just a few hours ago, he realized that probably he might be able to understand just a little bit now. Because if he was to lose Aoba, he wasn't sure if he could handle it.

"I'll be here until everything's over," he continued. Immediately after he finished his sentence, he regretted his choice of words.

'When everything's over?'  _What exactly?_

"It'll be fine," he continued hastily. "Everything will be fine. I'm here with you. You don't have to face this alone."

Aoba was strong. He definitely was. But when you were to lose someone important, one was allowed to let their guard down, no matter how strong a person was.

 

***

 

Noiz was dead serious about being there for Aoba. He made a quick call back to Germany and took a long holiday, ignoring the endless questions thrown at him and shutting his Coil, conveniently refusing all incoming calls. Between his career and Aoba, he'd chose the latter. It wasn't even a question. He wanted Aoba to go home so that he could have a proper rest but Aoba, with that very forced and weak smile of his, politely refused the suggestion. So he grabbed a few changing clothes from his house, seized his own luggage and settled down in the hospital with his boyfriend. Apparently, when Noiz arrived two days ago, Tae had gone through a major operation and all they could do now was to wait for her to wake up. The doctors had told them that there'd be risks to it but there was nothing else they could do but to take it if they wanted her to have a chance of recovery. It was a crucial period now, and Noiz couldn't help but blame himself for being there a bit too late for Aoba.

Pushing his regrets aside, he decided to firm himself up instead, constantly assuring Aoba again and again that Tae would be up and running in no time. Because she was equally strong, perhaps even stronger than Aoba. 

When Aoba finally fell asleep on the couch, Noiz quietly retreated from the room, intending to grab them some food when he bumped into Koujaku and Clear outside the door.

"How's Aoba?" Koujaku immediately asked upon seeing him. His hand was on the doorknob when Noiz stopped him.

"He's asleep," he simply said as Koujaku withdrew his hand from the door.

"And how's Tae-san?" Koujaku continued asking. When Noiz shook his head, he gave out a sigh.

"I hope Grandma wakes up soon," Clear said in a low voice, his face was hidden behind his mask and Noiz couldn't quite figure out his expression but his voice told him enough that he was worried as well.

"Thanks for taking care of Aoba when I wasn't around," Noiz said, giving both Koujaku and Clear a smile, effectively causing the other two to gape startlingly at him. After he'd regained his sensations, he'd learned to be more expressive. But portraying expressions in front of others was still something he hadn't gotten used to, and judging from the two men's reaction, they clearly hadn't gotten used to seeing this part of Noiz as well.

"No problem," Koujaku responded gawkily, unsure of what else he could say while Clear gave out a 'Don't mention it!'

"Have you..." Koujaku's voice disturbed the atmosphere around them as he stared sharply at Noiz. "...settled things between the two of you?"

Noiz only gave out a nod, immediately drawing a relieved smile on the older man's face. Sure, he'd pout and maybe complain a little when Aoba spent a bit too much time on the line with his childhood friend. But that was just his possessiveness speaking and that was about it. He knew that Koujaku was concerned about them, and if he was to have anyone who'd grown up with him like how Koujaku was to Aoba, he was sure that the person would do the same thing for them as well.

"Now we could only wait," Koujaku said again, leaning against the wall and was about to take his cigarette out when he realized that he was in the hospital. Clicking his tongue, he flashed another smile at both Noiz and Clear and walked down the corridor, waving at them as he went.

"I need to think of a good recipe to cook for Aoba-san so that he could eat when he wakes up later!" Clear exclaimed happily. But before he could leave, Noiz's eyes brightened, a thought popping into his head.

"Clear, wait. About that..."

 

Soon, this nightmare of theirs eventually came to an end.

The small reaction from Tae, along with the consciousness she regained a few hours later put a full stop to their cloudy days. Aoba almost tear up again when he saw Tae open her eyes. As he launched towards her, Tae reprimanded him, saying something about if she had enough strength she'd smack him on the head for reacting so exaggeratedly again. Messily rubbing his eyes, Aoba could only smile idiotically at her, muttering nonstop of 'thank goodness' which ultimately had Tae smiling tenderly at him and stroking him on the head.

It appeared that it wasn't anything too serious, after all. But no matter what it was, it wasn't something Aoba could help and Noiz would never blame him even for this abrupt action of his to fly back to Midorijima without telling him anything in advance.

 

Three days in Midorijima and a day before Tae was discharged, Noiz found himself alone with her while Aoba ran off to refill the water. No matter how much time has passed, he stil felt awkward being left alone in the same space as Tae. He hadn't been and wouldn't know how to interact with people who were so much older than him, not to mention that Tae was literally part of his family now. The fact often intensified his tension immensely.

"Thank you for dropping by," Tae said as she gave Noiz a smile. "Come here."

Obeying her, Noiz walked over and sat beside her, still feeling awkward.

"That child must have given you a lot of troubles," Tae continued, staring unblinkingly at Noiz as the other returned her gaze with a strong one of his own.

"Not at all.

"You've changed quite a bit since the last time I saw you," Tae confessed, eyeing him from head to toe and making Noiz feel as if he was being scanned from the inside out. "I still remember the first time when I saw you, when you still had your piercings and you were so... young."

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know where this conversation was heading to. 

"Noiz."

The mention of his name urged Noiz to look up at her. The stern look Tae was wearing on his face now intimidated him slightly.

"Is everything okay in Germany?"

Her question caught him off guard. Unsure of how to reply, he stared blankly for a while, gave out a cough and tried, as hard as he could, to answer.

"Yeah, everything's good back home."

He couldn't figure out why Tae was suddenly asking him this. He was sure that Aoba updated her every time he had the chance. Was there something that Noiz didn't know?

"' _Back home_ '," Tae repeated before she smiled again. "I see."

"Grandma," Noiz asked carefully. "Is something wrong?"

Tae shook her head.

"Nothing's wrong, don't worry. I just want to make sure. You know how Aoba tends to be. Even if there's something wrong he wouldn't want us to worry."

He agreed. Yeah, this was definitely a part of Aoba he was more than familair with.

"Everything's fine, Grandma," Noiz reassured, moving closer and gently clutching Tae's hand in his. "Aoba is very strong. I know sometimes he gets homesick and he tends to hide it from me but across time, he realizes that it isn't possible so we're properly communication with each other now. If there's anything wrong, I'd know instantly."

"Is he eating properly? Is he used to the weather there?"

Smiling, Noiz nodded.

"He's adapting very well. He's a strong man."

A relieved smile made its way across Tae's face as she took her hand out of Noiz's grasp and proceeded to pat Noiz on the head.

"You too."

Curious, Noiz's head went into an instant speed track. There were a lot of implications to what Tae meant but now, he couldn't figure out what it was and he wasn't sure if Tae was going to tell him.

Noticing Noiz's confusion, Tae knocked him on the head, as if trying to nail the sense into him,

"You're strong, too," she explained before she gave out an angry huff and looked away with her hands crossed in front of her chest.

"So even when I'm gone," Tae continued, obviously trying to hide the awkwardness. "You two will be fine."

"Don't say things like that, Grandma. You're healthy," Noiz objected.

Tae paused for a while before she gave out a sigh.

"There'll come a day... when both of you will have to face it, whether you like it or not," she said in a smaller voice, very unlike to how she usually was. "It's a normal living process. People live and die, but what matters is how we take it and how people continue living with what is left behind by the deceased."

Noiz never understood how it would feel to lose someone he loved. He never thought about it, he didn't want to think about it. But this incident had urged him to finally put his thoughts to work. He could't stand the idea of losing Aoba, and Aoba... Aoba probably was the same, just that on top of Noiz, he also had Tae, his only family.

Noiz never understood how it would feel to lose a family member, either. But now, he could somehow understand - because Tae was also part of his family. What she said was right. It'd happen one day, no matter they liked it or not. It was just a normal life cycle a typical human being had to go through and no one was allowed to escape from this cycle.

No one was allowed to cheat death.

That was why she was relieved to know that both he and Aoba were so strong - that was why she asked. It was not because she was insecure about death, but she was  _worried_ about them.

When Aoba returned with the water bottle, he froze at the doorway, amazed with the scene in front of him - Noiz was smiling contentedly at Tae, who still had a scowl on her face but her expression was gentle nevertheless. And when they left (Aoba finally surrendered to Tae's fierce telling-off for him to go home for a proper rest) he felt his heart skipping a beat when he heard Noiz saying something like "I'll take care of him" to Tae, in which his grandmother had replied with a tender "I'm leaving him to you."

It was a voice even he, who had been staying with her for the rest of his life, had never heard before.

 

***

 

"What's the deal between you and Granny?" Aoba asked playfully as they walked back to the Seragaki household. Ruffling his hair, Noiz looked away with a small curve at the corner of his lips, riling Aoba's interest up even further as he pouted at his younger boyfriend. This was probably not the best time to bring this matter up to Aoba but soon, Aoba distracted himself by giving out a loud yawn, the fatigue finally crashing down on him upon the release of the heavy stone in his heart.

The moment they reached home, Aoba collapsed on the bed right after he settled his luggage down, almost falling asleep when he felt Noiz sitting beside him.

"Ah, sorry, you must be hungry," he said frantically, was about to spring up when Noiz pushed him back on the bed.

"Don't worry about me. Get some sleep."

Normally, Aoba would insist to make his boyfriend comfortable before he took care of himself. But now, he was a hopeless, drained man whose lack of stamina was at the verge of consuming his consciousness. Completely defeated by the exhaustion within him, he allowed himself to be pampered as he gave Noiz a nod, lying back down on the bed and closing his eyes, Noiz's soft kiss on his cheek being the last thing he felt before darkness overtook him.

 

Aoba fell asleep within seconds, his mouth hanging slightly open and his body curling up as if he was hugging something Noiz couldn't see. Stroking his hair, Noiz touched him as gently as he could, trying not to accidentally wake him up before he leaned forward to plant another kiss on his boyfriend's cheek, making sure that he was comfortably asleep before he walked out of the room.

His destination was the kitchen, where he found most of the utensils he needed and immediately got into work, fully making use of the short cooking lesson Clear had given him yesterday. He hadn't seen Aoba having a proper meal ever since he met up with him here and he figured that Aoba might have been slacking on his meal intake ever since he set his foot here. Noiz wasn't a great cook himself, but as he smelled the nice fragrance coming from the cooking pot, he gave out a reflexive grin, suddenly hearing the grumbles in his stomach as he took a spoonful of the porridge he'd made.

It was good.

The cooking process was shorter than he'd expected. Now there was nothing left to be done except to wait for Aoba to wake up. Satisfied, he strolled back to the living room and sat on the couch. The tiredness more pronounced now that he'd finished his tasks. Soon, he found himself glancing around the space.

The Seragaki household wasn't a place he was particularly familiar with, but it was definitely an important place which will always remain close to his heart. He wasn't very aware of the surrounding when he first barged his way into the house, his then objective being to find his way to his target's room and start working on what he intended to do. He wasn't even aware of what was in the said target's room, wasn't very much interested in them with his eyes fixed only on the ancient computer modal he'd located in the room.

With that thought, he paced slowly back into Aoba's room. Aoba was still sleeping. When the door gave out a soft thump when Noiz closed it, he stirred quietly without waking up, a soft snore escaping his lips. He had never been in Aoba's room for a long time, neither did he spend a lot of time in his boyfriend's room even since they become so much closer than when they first met. Aoba's room was nothing too fascinating. He could see books piling up at one corner and under the bed. A quick glimpse around told Noiz enough that it was just a simple room, owned by a simple man.

In fact, Aoba  _should_ be a simple man.

He shouldn't have anything to do with Scrap. He shouldn't concern himself with Toue and his world domination plan. And above all, he should deserve happiness, if that was the one thing Noiz could promise him.

But no matter how hard Noiz tried to convince himself, he knew that he was wrong. They were involved with each other because they _weren't_ simple. He didn't like the idea of losing; he was used to challenging others and being challenged, and Aoba knew that very well. 

That was why their relationship was filled with challenges - it started with a Rhyme challenge, progressed with more challenges, and probably, along the way, they'd find themselves confronted not only by challenges - avoidable or unavoidable - but choices as well. It was like Noiz, when he came to think about it. He was made up of countless possibilities, countless questions, and countless decisions to make. In fact, there wasn't a time when Noiz wasn't challenged by his own mind.

 

`Does Aoba wear this?`

`→ Yes  
`→ No``

He asked himself when he spotted the blue jacket hanging on the wall.

 

`Does Aoba read these?`

`→ Yes  
`→ No``

He asked himself again when he spotted some magazines beside the small coffee table in the middle of the room.

 

`Does Aoba still remember how to use this?`

`→ Yes  
`→ No``

The old computer modal that Noiz was once unable to understand still stood proudly at one corner of his room.

 

Now shifting his gaze back to his sleeping boyfriend, he walked unhurriedly towards him, gently caressing his face with a tender smile which he didn't even know had formed on his face.

Once again, his head was filled with numerous questions - questions that only Aoba could answer.

 

He couldn't remember when he had fallen asleep. When he was woken up by a few prods on the face, it was already night time. Sitting up, he rubbed on his eye, gave out a yawn, and opened his eyes to see Aoba staring at him with a gleeful look on his face.

"Slept well?" Aoba asked as he ruffled his hair. "Does your butt hurt? Come here."

Patting on the empty space beside him, Aoba called him over. The bed was a bit too small to accommodate the both of them but once Noiz settled comfortably beside Aoba, Aoba shifted closer to him, grabbing his arm and wrapping it around his neck as he grinned happily at the younger one.

"You should have waked me up if you want to sleep. I know it's a bit cramped but if we sleep closer it could still fit the both of us. Then you wouldn't need to sit on the floor."

That wasn't a bad idea at all. But now that they were both awake and no longer sleep deprived, the idea of both of them, on a bed, became a totally new meaning altogether.

"But if I don't want to sleep, can I still cuddle with you on your bed?" Noiz asked. He still had his signature smirk plastered on his face but the way he asked sounded like a small kid asking his parent's permission for something more than anything else.

Finding it endearing, Aoba grinned happily and pinched Noiz on the nose.

"Have I ever said no to you?" he asked, intentionally snugging into Noiz and applying weight onto the younger one's body.

No matter how ridiculous Noiz's ideas were to be, it was true that Aoba had never mouthed the 'no' at him if Noiz asked properly. So, he returned Aoba's smile, now hugging him with both of his arms and motioning him to sit in between his legs.

The comfortable few seconds of silence was soon interrupted by Aoba as he reached out to bring Noiz's face to look at him. Upon feeling his boyfriend's warmth, something which he was so very familiar with and something he'd forgotten for the past few weeks, he couldn't help but feel guilty. Tae's matter had been on his mind for the entire time, and he'd unconsciously and conveniently neglected his boyfriend. Now that he thought about it, even the note he'd left Noiz prior to his departure sounded cruel.

 _Don't come after me_.

But Noiz came in the end, although Aoba didn't want to consider how torturing it had been for Noiz when he was going through that thought process. It sounded like he was challenging him, but deep down, Aoba knew that it was just him being a coward, knowing that he wouldn't be able to balance his priorities between the two most important persons in his life and hence, causing him to handily push one of them away so that he could focus better.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "But thank you for coming after me."

"You're not going to hit me?" Noiz asked instead, his voice right beside Aoba's ear.

"For?"

"For not listening to you."

"I..." Aoba stuttered before he turned around and looked Noiz in the eyes. "Why would I do that? I'm sorry for being selfish. I thought I'd do fine by myself. I never know that you being with me would make me feel better. I... I never thought of involving you in this. But I was wrong."

"You are," Noiz confirmed as he reached his fingers out to trail on Aoba's cheekbones. "You are so very wrong. I know what you're thinking. But I'm here for only one reason - to tell you that sometimes there's no need for you to choose at all. Sometimes," he paused before he moved forward to kiss Aoba on the lips. "...you could chose  _both_."

Aoba's eyes brightened. Then, he gave out a small chuckle. Nodding, he hugged Noiz, feeling so very much relieved than how he was in the past month.

"Not only that, I know you're strong and you're definitely strong for living through this. Just one thing, Aoba. You do not need to be strong all the time. You're allowed to fail, allowed to cry, allowed to be weak. You're only human. You were the one who told me this, remember? That's the reason why I'm here, right? For you to lean on. Don't ever think of shoving me away again, even when..." a pause. "...something far worse is to happen."

Aoba was stunned for a while, then he gave Noiz a knowing smile. Although he never pointed out exactly what he meant by that, at the instance when Aoba's expression softened, he knew that Aoba knew what he was referring to, further convinced him that Aoba was indeed stronger than he already knew.

Since when did the senseless brat he once knew grow into such a beautiful strong man? Since when did  _he_ need this same brat to spell out what he'd forgotten? But Noiz was right. There was no need for them to act strong when they were allowed to feel weak. And Noiz was probably the reason why Aoba was still able to be so strong despite all the roller coaster emotions he had gone through.

"Is there anything at all that I could do for you?" Aoba asked, mumbling into his brat's shoulder. "I want to do something for you. I know you would probably say it's fine but I just  _want_ to do something for you."

He felt the arms around him tighten.

"Let me just feel you like this," Noiz whispered. "One month without you is not a joke, Aoba. It was Hell."

Then, it suddenly occurred to Aoba. Noiz must be very terrified when he wasn't around. He must have thought that he had left him, leaving him all alone like how his family did.

Breaking free from Noiz's embrace, he took Noiz's face in his hands, and, ignoring the questioning look on his boyfriend's face, he lurched forward, catching him in an intense kiss and guiding Noiz's hands to support his torso.

Like what Noiz had said, one month without Aoba wasn't a joke at all. He had yearned to see Aoba again, to hear his voice again; but above all, he had desired to feel Aoba like this, to have his warmth invading his nerves, to kiss him so hard he was almost losing his breath, and to feel him in a deeper level that would tell him - remind him, assure him - again and again that Aoba wasn't going anywhere.

He wasn't leaving him alone.

His actions totally overtook his brain, Noiz grasped the back of Aoba's neck, bringing him nearer and slipping his tongue into the other's mouth at the same time. No matter how much time has passed, there was no way he could forget how Aoba felt on his tongue, as if he'd have every corner of his mouth memorized. Naturally, Aoba fell flat on his bed, Noiz climbing on top of him, their lips remained glued the entire time.

"Don't you ever leave me alone like this again," Noiz muttered hotly when they separated their kiss just to gasp for air.

Trying very hard to ignore the guilt now starting to form within him, Aoba nodded, a sign of another promise formed. And, without wasting more time, they were all over each other again. Noiz quickly but carefully discarded their clothing, his mouth remained busy on Aoba's face, Aoba's neck, and Aoba's body. It was as if he was trying to remember the texture of Aoba's skin, to remind himself how Aoba tasted like. At that instance, Aoba felt as if he was faced with a hungry wolf, who couldn't wait for even one second to devour him completely, until what was left of him was his raging passion and uncontrollable moans.

"Come to think about it," Noiz suddenly said, stopping his intimate behaviors momentarily to look up at Aoba. "This is the first time we're doing it in your room."

Aoba's face clearly spelled the 'oh' he hadn't gotten the chance to say as Noiz got back to work. As the reality sank into him, he felt nothing but intensified want and embarrassment. He could literally feel every inch of his skin burning as he covered his face with his hands. The visual of his room's ceiling, along with the atmosphere he was a bit too familiar with only ignited a fiercer fire within him. He could barely feel what Noiz was doing to him but he was sure that whatever his boyfriend was doing wasn't helping in calming his desire down, which was now, practically, out of control.

"How does it feel having sex in your own room?" Noiz asked, as sudden as how he'd first blurted the statement out at Aoba.

This was exactly what Aoba didn't want to answer. Still with his hands on his face, he shook his head, failing badly at controlling his moans when he felt Noiz grabbing on his dick and starting to pump on it.

He could hear Noiz's smirk from below him. The brat must be enjoying this, making it hard to believe that this same brat was being all suave and sweet about the whole 'coming after him' business.

With the urge to defend his final bit of egoism left, Aoba finally took his hands off his face and sat up just enough to glare at Noiz. As if he'd also gotten his actions memorized, Noiz took his hand off Aoba's dick and replaced it with his mouth at the exact same time when their eyes met.

One month was definitely  _not_ a joke. As soon as Aoba felt the warmth wrapping his length, he gave out a loud moan, crashing back down on his bed as he felt electric shocks making their way up from his crotch and coming out in the form of more moans. It had been too long. Even when Aoba had not been thinking or even taking care of his own sexual needs, his body obviously wanted it, seeing how it was responding so obediently to every one of Noiz's touch.

"N-Noiz..." Aoba managed to force out the only word that had been in his head for the past few minutes. When Noiz focused his attention on him, he took a few deep breaths before he continued. "I-is there anything I could do for you?"

That was his initial intention when he'd lured Noiz into this. Now it seemed as if Noiz was doing most of the work.

"You know what I'll say," Noiz responded, the hot breath hitting the tip of Aoba's dick when he spoke sent shivers all over him.

"But... oh, I know."

Sitting up, Aoba motioned Noiz to come over. Although curious, Noiz obeyed without question. The moment he was sitting right in front of Aoba, Aoba moved closer, until their bodies were almost touching and their dicks were... already touching.

Realizing what Aoba intended to do, Noiz was about to say something when Aoba gave him a mischievous smirk before he grabbed both of their dicks together. He could literally feel Noiz's cock twitching in his hand as the younger man gave out a moan.

"You said I could choose both?" He knew Noiz didn't mean it that way. But, despite his own ferocious need, Aoba couldn't resist the urge to tease his boyfriend, because he knew that it would reward him with an expression so deliciously alluring he wouldn't have a lot of chance to see. Noiz had always insisted Aoba to sit back and relax but sometimes, Aoba wanted more than that. He didn't want to be completely submissive and he wanted his boyfriend to be the one who would  _sit back and relax_ while he did the arousing job.

He gave out a soft whimper when Noiz's piercings sank into his crotch as he bit down on his bottom lip to refrain his voice. Noiz was breathing heavily. He could even feel his hot breath on his face with the distance they were in. When their eyes met, Noiz gave him an impish smirk before he added his hand onto Aoba's and helping him to pump their erections with properly calculated pressure. There wasn't any need to rush. Now that a heavy weight was lifted off their shoulders, the time now belonged to them alone and they were going to take things as leisurely as how they wanted them to be.

When Noiz squeezed their dicks a little bit harder, Aoba bit harder on his lips, almost drawing blood as he felt Noiz's tongue pressing against his neck, soft and hot and passionate. Without slacking on the pumps, he allowed Noiz to suck on his neck, causing him to tilt his head back and giving Noiz access to suck on his throat instead.

They were both very, very hard, precum wetting their hands. When Aoba thought that Noiz was going to finish him there and then, he suddenly stopped.

"I think it's enough," Noiz mumbled, releasing his grip on their dicks and pushing Aoba off so that he fell back on the mattress. "I don't think I can stand another minute if we continue on like that."

As Aoba lay, sweaty and breahing heavily from the intense pleasure, Noiz left the bed and searched around in his luggage before he returned with a small bottle of lube in his hand.

"You even brought that along..." Aoba responded breathlessly, shooting Noiz a glare at the same time.

"I never took it out of that bag," Noiz said in a matter-of-fact tone as he coated his fingers with the slick material. Aoba would've come out with a snappy comeback but he was way too aroused and distracted by his own need that when Noiz sank a finger into his hole, whatever retorts he had dissolved into thin air instantly.

"You feel tighter than usual," Noiz commented, pulling and pushing his finger in and out of Aoba continuously. "Does it hurt?"

Unable to form a coherent word, Aoba could only shook his head as he gripped on the mattress, feeling his erection hardened with every push Noiz gave him as precum continued pouring from his tip, forming a pool on his lower abdomen.

He didn't know when Noiz added in a second finger. All he knew was that he was dangerously reaching his limit. He could feel his orgasm at the tip of his dick. He wanted to stop Noiz, to tell him that he would come if Noiz continued doing what he was doing, but all that he managed to force out of his mouth was instead more choked moans and then...

He arched his back, the orgasm he was trying to hold back driving its way out as intense pleasure crashed down on him. For a moment, his head turned completely white and he could feel nothing but his own trembles and the wet warmth on his body, the voice that was trapped in his throat when he climaxed slowly rolling their way out in a form of short, hoarse moans.

Then, he felt something different on his chest. Opening his eyes, he stared dazedly as Noiz trailed his finger across his torso, scooping some of his release out and waving it in front of him.

"This is one month worth of release," Noiz said in a husky voice. "And you came just from me fingering you. Amazing."

Finally able to contain his pleasure, Aoba intended to withhold his pride when he caught sight of Noiz's dick.

"Y-you're about to come too, aren't you?" he asked, pointing at his boyfriend's erection.

"About to," Noiz repeated as he positioned himself once again in between Aoba's legs.

"From fingering me alone?"

Noiz didn't reply, but the hint of pink Aoba saw on his cheeks had given Aoba his answer. He had to bite on his lips to stop himself from laughing at Noiz. How dare this brat laughed at him when he was almost the same as him?

Wrapping his legs around Noiz's waist to bring him closer, Aoba smirked.

"You sure you can still go on? Do you want me to suck you off first?" he said, a soft moan accidentally escaped his lips when he felt Noiz's pressing the tip of his dick against his hole.

"...Is that supposed to be a challenge?" Noiz breathed, pushing the head of his dick pass the ring of muscles.

Aoba felt the strength of his legs left him as he put them down and situated them uselessly on both sides of Noiz's body.

"Yes, it is," he responded after taking in a deep breath.

Noiz merely gave him a smirk before he pushed all the way into Aoba, stopping when the tip hit his inner wall.

"Challenge accepted."

Challenging and being challenged were the nature of their relationship. They did not only polished them into becoming better individuals, but at the same time, they also helped them figure each other out better, allowing them to pick each other up when things went wrong.

 

* * *

 

 

They stayed for another week. Tae was discharged the next day, completely healthy and energetic. Initially, she wanted both Noiz and Aoba to go back sooner but Aoba gave her a bitter looking face, leaving her with no choice but to allow them to do whatever they wanted.

On the day of their departure, both Koujaku and Clear sent them off as well, as how they would always do when Aoba departed back to Germany after his hometown visit.

"Don't talk too long on the phone," Noiz said to Koujaku, right after they heard the announcer urging them to board the plane. "The bill is expensive."

Koujaku scowled and was about to throw him a comeback when Aoba interrupted.

"But isn't Koujaku always the one who called? We don't pay a single- hey Noiz!"

Bewildered, Koujaku stared as Noiz picked their luggage up and walked towards the departure hall with Aoba hurrying towards him. He only came back to himself when he finally figured out what Noiz really meant. 

"You're a hundred years too early to worry about my bills, brat!" he shouted, earning him a few scowls from people around him.

 

As they settled comfortably on their seats, Aoba shot Noiz a gleeful smile. 

"We're going home," Aoba said, leaning back against his chair and intertwining his fingers with Noiz's. "Argh I can't wait to sleep on our bed. I'm too used to its size and it's your fault."

There was no way Noiz could stop his mind from working, he had been like this ever since he was born. But that didn't mean he couldn't control the way he made his decisions. Sure, he'd had his own share of contradictions but across time, he realized that some questions weren't even questions after all.

 

`Do I hate Aoba?`

` ~~→ Yes~~  
 **` → No` ** `

 

`Do I trust Aoba?`

` **→ Yes**  
 ~~` → No` ~~ `

 

`Is Aoba leaving me?`

` ~~→ Yes~~  
 **` → No` ** `

 

`Do I love Aoba?`

` **→ Yes**  
 ~~` → No` ~~ `

 

`Do I love Aoba?`

` **→ Yes** `

 

`Does Aoba love me?`

`→`

 

"I love you, Noiz. Thank you for coming after me."

Aoba knew the answers for all his questions, after all. Even when they were to meet with more challenges in the future, he knew that they would be able to make it through.

Because those challenges came by choice, and even so, he believed that they'd have enough strength to overcome whatever challenges that were to come their way.

Because they were just strong that way,  _both of them were_.

 

 


End file.
